Arouse in the other person an eager want

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Carnegie, in [@carnegie2010How to win friends & influence people], states that whatever we do, we do it because we want something. Donating money to the Red Cross, for example, can be because we want to lend a helping hand. Every single thing we do, is because have the feeling of the want.

Therefore, when we are dealing with other people but we can arouse in them the eager want. The example in the book is that of kids smoking. We could tell them not to do it, or we could tell them that while they smoke their performance in sports will drop, and therefore they will want to stop smoking.

The rest of the chapter focuses on separating what we want from what the other wants. I know what I want, I want you to do something for me. Instead of phrasing it like that, I can always phrase it in a way that highlights the benefits for you. You should want to do something without even knowing what my interests are.

The book cites some examples of letters sent to and from companies and how they could have been re-written to create a higher impact and lower the barrier at convincing the other. One of the examples is about a shipping company that needs trucks to arrive earlier to prevent a bottleneck. Instead, they can explain that trucks arriving earlier is a benefit to the other person because there'll be less dead time overall.

Note on The Leader in You - Dale Carnegie

Tags: #literature-note #reading-2021 #sales


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